Hello Santa! It’s Me Rhonda Root!
A grown up Christmas Wish!
I’d like to introduce you to our Newest Contributor here on Laura’s Little House Tips Rhonda Root! I am sure you are all going to love her as much as I do. I have known Rhonda since grade school. What I love most is her heart! With all of life’s trials and tribulations Rhonda has a unique gift of putting her heart down into words. She is joining as a writer and story teller extraordinaire. Please Welcome her to the family. Without Further ado Here is Hello Santa! It’s Me Rhonda Root! A grown up Christmas Wish!
It’s me, Rhonda Root. It’s been years since I’ve written to you; you might remember me as Rhonda Howell, but probably not since so much time has passed and there are so many new generations of children that have come since my childhood. I’ve had other names and might have fluctuated between the “naughty” and “nice” lists in all of those years that have passed (in case you need to look me up).
I’m not sure if you have room for grown up wishes but I really needed to try and see if you’d consider working a little Christmas magic on my behalf.
It’s been quite a year Santa; actually, it’s been quite a bunch of years but this year, in particular, I’ve somehow managed to let being busy take the reigns and run rampant. Now, December has arrived and I need you to help me find my Christmas spirit. It’s simply gone and I’ve spent since Thanksgiving looking for it.
Please, Santa, don’t let me go through the motions of this holiday feeling like this. It isn’t right!! Christmas shouldn’t be a list of chores for me to do all the way up to December 25th only to find myself in a pile of carefully chosen, discarded wrapping paper and recycled cardboard and a list of chores for dismantling the holiday. This entire year has been a “To Do” list; I don’t want the year to go out like this; I especially don’t want Christmas to be like this!!
If you could, please check to see if my new husband is on the “nice” list. I know he has his moments, but he really has tried. I’d like him to know that I appreciate him going out of his way to try and help me find my Christmas spirit. Yesterday he said that if I gave him the list, he’d go shopping and take that off my plate. I could see that as his answer to me lamenting that I hate shopping for Christmas; however, having the list is 90% of the battle. Is that why you always asked us, as children, for a list? I can’t imagine how difficult it would have been to pick a perfect gift for all of the boys and girls around the world when I struggle with my choices for family and friends in hopes that my efforts will light up their faces and warm their hearts. He also took me to visit my grandma yesterday since I didn’t want to go to get our Christmas tree yet while feeling like this. I want to enjoy those moments and I just can’t grasp the appropriate attitude that I should have. Visiting grandma helped a little and having my aunt and uncle stop by was a bonus.
You see, Santa, in addition to feeling overwhelmed by all of the expectations of this year and the holidays, I’m so incredibly homesick. I even miss my grandpa that put coal in the top of our filled stockings one year and said that you, Santa, were probably saying we were “ok” that year, but warning us to “shape up” for next year….at least that’s how I remember it some 40-years later; he’s been gone for almost 18 of those 40-years and I still miss him–I even wanted to smell his buffalo plaid hunting coat…I miss his smell!!!
I’m sad for all that have lost loved ones this year; I imagine how “homesick” they are too! I know the need to have a place we feel is home in our loved one’s hearts and we want to visit those hearts and reminisce about the memories we’ve made. We miss the laughter but mostly we miss their love. Oh how I wish that your magic could turn back the hands of time for ALL hearts to return “home” for Christmas. I wish that I had asked for more of that when I was growing up because now, now, I see the importance of it! Now, I understand that those are the real gifts and that LOVE is the true meaning of Christmas. Disappointment is mine, as I go in and out of malls and shopping centers trying to find a single thing to wrap that will convey what I know now to be the greatest and most meaningful gift. I’m frustrated because what I’m looking for will never be found at Great Northern, Shoppingtown or even at Destiny. It won’t be found at a little specialty shop in Skaneateles and it cannot be wrapped in perfect paper and trimmed with tags and bows. I want what I always had, Santa, and I want to give what I received.
I want my parents to know that I appreciate every single gift ever given…not because I remember them but because I’m so grateful for the effort. I know the love that went in to the shopping for and wrapping of gifts that were chosen and I know the struggles to put on a “descent” Christmas when times were hard and money was tight. I wish I knew then what I know now–I would have acted with more grace and expressed more gratitude. I wish that I had the chance to wallow in the comfort of their kitchen now and soak up the gift of their presence. I’d share the efforts and experience the joy exponentially. I always miss them but my heart hurts so very much for missed holidays.
Santa, please help me in thanking my new family for filling some of the emptiness. Help me to remember this Christmas with them will be a treasured memory in the future. Help me to make room in my heart for what I do have here and now and let me be reminded that what I’m missing was once what I had before me. They are a gift that I need only unwrap and enjoy and remind me that it’s ok to miss one thing and still embrace another.
Santa, please work some holiday magic and let me figure a way to be a better example of Christmas for our “kids”. I’m sure they miss the wonder of Christmas too. If I could get through to them the importance of time and share the wisdom of what is truly a gift (like quiet moments of reflection, the inside jokes, the laughter and mostly the love in the room – especially at Christmas time). I want them to know that Christmas isn’t really an ideal but rather a feeling and it should be a TREASURE to unwrap long after Christmas paper has been hauled away and the decorations boxed and stored in the basement.
Dearly, Santa, I want everyone to know that I’m just trying to get it right ALWAYS but even more so at Christmas. I know that everyone has holiday wishes and I would LOVE to fulfill at least one of them for every person on my list. I want so much to bring them each the joy that you used to bring me.
I miss that Santa; I miss the wonder and the magic. I want that back. I want to fill my house with the smells I remember. I want to replace the chaos of baking and decorating with the chaos of a crowded houseful of people I love. I want to replace the exhaustion of hours of shopping and sore feet with laughing until our stomachs hurt. Instead of picking out a shirt for someone as a gift, I wanna lose my shirt to my dad in any number of family games we play (well, I really don’t WANT to LOSE but…)! Instead of spending money on things we really don’t need and won’t remember, I want us ALL to collectively GO, DO, GIVE, SERVE to as many that do NEED and will somehow change their future or create a treasured memory for them…TOGETHER!! And, in giving, I want them to receive a filled heart…that’s the Christmas I would like to share with them.
I miss you Santa with my 51-year-old wisdom and my little girl heart; how I miss you!! I know now that your magic is not delivered in the 24-hours between Christmas Eve and The end of Christmas night. Your magic is in the entire month of December and it is delivered in the form of Christmas hope. To BElieve in you is to have faith; faith in childhood dreams and grown up wishes; faith that a weary world will find peace at least for one day and maybe some day…ALL DAYS.
Please, Santa…please! Help me find my Christmas spirit!! Help me to find the much needed balance that I need to have in this very last month of December 2015. Bring my mind peace and fill my heart with joy to share with my family and friends. Help me find hope and faith and let me be a vessel to pass it on to others in this weary world whose paths cross with mine…not just at Christmas but for my lifetime!
I still BElieve!!!!
Rhonda (Howell) Root
I’d love to know your thoughts on Rhonda’s Christmas Wish. 🙂 Feel free to share with friends or family who also may be looking for the Christmas Spirit.